Clarity for Men: A Blueprint From Christ That Bolsters Masculinity

When the world says “men are the problem”  it means shut up, step aside, and only contribute if it is to lift another “minority group”.  Society continues to ask men to be more vulnerable, but don’t be weak, don’t be toxic, don’t be a creep; take accountability for the mistakes of your fathers, even if you never behaved in the same way.

Christ teaches that real men ought to be humble, kind, and persevere.  To lead with gentleness, and stand firm in covenants made with God the Father. They seek to be husbands and fathers, to be industrious and not idle, to protect and provide, to serve and to endure this life, becoming more like Him one courageous step at a time.

One path is killing off a generation of men. The other is teaching men of their real worth.

For years I suffered in silence because my voice decayed with each passing day.  I felt shame due to a broken family and stood alone as there was no one with the tools or will, to guide me to what I should take accountability for, and “what manner of [man] ought [I] to be?”.  So I had to go and learn how to seize them for myself.

By the end of this you’ll have:

• 4 alarming 2025 statistics that prove the crisis is worse than we admit

• What manner of men Christ teaches we should be

• 6 common terms used to describe men

• A 5-step challenge that’s transformed me and many others who have followed it

  
  

Let’s begin.

The Crisis in Numbers (2025 Data You Can’t Ignore)

1. Loneliness Epidemic

   1 in 4 American men under 35 report being lonely “every day or almost every day” (Gallup, 2025). In Utah County that number climbs to 29% among LDS men aged 25-40 (Utah Health Status Report, 2024).

   
   

2. Friendship Collapse

   1 in 5 men say they have ZERO close friends they could call in a crisis—triple the rate from 1990 (American Perspectives Survey, 2025).

   
   

3. The Familial Risk Study (2023, Published in Translational Psychiatry)

   A population-wide analysis of over 9 million Utah records (1995–2019) found that familial suicide risk is significantly elevated among LDS men, with less-active or inactive members showing 2–4 times higher odds of suicide attempts compared to highly active members.

4. 2025 Match Singles in America Survey (June 2025, Match & Kinsey Institute)

   Among 5,000+ U.S. singles, 53% report dating burnout (with men especially citing insecurity from low response rates and perceived widening gender gaps in expectations), while 70% believe women's demands for multifaceted partners (e.g., best friend, therapist, lover) are overwhelming—leading to 42% of young men (18-34) feeling hopeless about finding love and heightened anxiety/depression rates among app users.

The world’s script is literally isolating and killing men striving to meet the demands placed upon them. They are confused on where to turn, because what we have is not working.

What Christ Has Actually Been Telling Us Through All Generations of Time

• “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.” (3 Nephi 27:27)

• “... suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (Moroni 7:45)

• “And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.”  (D&C 4:5–6)

• “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness…” (D&C 121:41)

Complete blueprint of how the Savior wants us to be men:

3 Nephi 27:27 → Be like Christ

Moroni 7 → Love like Christ

D&C 4 → Work like Christ

D&C 121 → Lead like Christ

Often in society and on social media we have seen a negative reaction to Christ and other religious narratives on approaches to men. Within and without, many criticize the "patriarchy" of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Men are being attacked on all angles, yet Christ has outlined how to manage peace amongst the scrutiny.

Today the 6 common terms used to describe men are:

1. Toxic - Harmful norms like emotional suppression, aggression, and dominance that damage men and society.

2. Predator - Men who exploit power imbalances, like pursuing women will selfish intent or ignoring consent.

3. Creepy - Boundary-violating behaviors like unwanted approach, staring, touching, or persistent flirting, especially in unsafe spaces.

4. Incel - men who want romantic/sexual relationships but can’t get them and feel stuck (“involuntarily celibate”). Many end up bitter, blame women, and isolate.

5. Misogynist - Someone who believes women are inferior, annoying, deceitful, or evil just because they are women.

6. Nice Guy - Acts nice to a woman expecting sex/relationship in return. Gets mad when rejected.

How is this encouraging to the younger generation? Opinions and propaganda spread like wildfire, getting consumed at an unprecedented rate every day by young men and adult men alike.  Each seeking to find clarity.

What are they to believe? They’re shrinking into the shadows in fear of being shamed and humiliated online, acting out in bitterness and defense, and feeling no hope in living up to the expectations society is spewing at them day and night.

Men are incredible assets of strength, creativity, and innovation. They can be incredible leaders amongst our social structures. They can guide great change and be unmoving when faced with unsurmountable odds. They still need nurturing, encouragement, and respect.

Throughout the histories men have risen and fallen. Civilizations have found a way to live on or adapt. The question is, what are we going to do in this crisis? How will be add to the acknowledgement and well being of those men in need of mentoring, belief, and love?

5-Step Challenge to Encourage Healthy Men

Don’t just brush through this, take it seriously, and you will find peace in the process.

Step 1: Within your realm, speak more of what you love about men in your life and/or positive experiences with men.  Let’s start changing the conversation of all the negative traits men have, to what we love about good men.  This effort will influence more positive behaviors in men.

Step 2: Ponder on the behaviors and characteristics about yourself.  What you love and the ones that you know are flaws.  Have integrity and be brutally honest with yourself.  Remember, your uniqueness is a massive benefit to society.  It is our differences, not our similarities, that make the whole great.  As I like to say “let your freak flag fly”.

Step 3: Know what manner of man/woman you want to be.  Imagine that individual and visualize them.  Who are they and what do they do?  What are their behaviors, skills, and characteristics?

Step 4: What matters most to you?  Family, getting married, children, career, achievements, education, your faith?  Become very clear here, because this is your foundation, your guard rails, your bumpers in life to keep you on the path you will create for yourself.

Step 5:  Now that you know who you are, who you wish to become, and what matters most, you must look within and take action.  Change one behavior you are not doing, or are and shouldn’t.  Do this consistently and in time you will see incredible results.

We have been blessed with agency and are the creators of our own life.  No influence of another can make us act in any way, we in the end, choose to and blame others for our behaviors.  They may cause us to feel a certain way, but we have the power to choose how we respond.

VITAL TAKEAWAY

Jesus Christ teaches that men are vital and a needed part of the family structure.  Protect, Provide, and Preside... with leadership, love, and gentleness.

Men strengthen families, create great value in creativity and innovation, perform some of the most dangerous jobs throughout the world, protect societies, and have given their very lives in protection of “our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children.”

Be men, stand tall, and ignore the noise of the world, for we have an important work to do.  Treat women with patience and kindness.

The war on the sexes needs to end.  There is no greater unit, ordained by God, more effective and powerful than when a man and woman comes together to lead and nurture.  Our young men need mentorship now more than ever.

Your Turn Right Now

Stand up. Be different. The world needs great men now more than ever.

Douglas Belshe - Sovereign Design

P.S. If you’re ready for 1:1 coaching on finding results more effectively, make sure to reach out for my free consultation to make sure I am the right coach for you.